Sunday, March 13, 2011

Akward Yet Funny Weekend

So yesterday I was playing around with my new iPhone texting a friend when my cousin sends me a text.... I open the text and what was it???....... A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS!!!!!! He then sent me another text telling me that he meant to send it to his girlfriend. No matter what, I am still scarred and disgusted by this! I saw my cousins wiener! YUCK!!! Family will just never be the same for me again!

Still online dating... its still interesting. I am getting a little discouraged though! I am surprised (well, I guess Im not totally surprised) at the amount of married men looking to date! Is marriage not important anymore? And its like they think I wont find out that they are married. When we can only go on 'dates' during the lunch hour or during working hours... I am going to question it. Or when we go out for dinner but we have to leave Toronto to do so.... ya, thats a little fishy..... This is not Utah! I will  have to find out eventually!


So I have recently become addicted to stand up comedy... The following are just a few jokes that have stuck with me and make me silently giggle to myself at random times during the day...

Girl Says: For a Dollar, you can lick this! (referring to her... you know!)
Guy Responds: I'd rather lick the dollar!

Do you know what I can the morning after pill? Breakfast in bed!

There is a test that you can take to see if you are gay or not.... its called an HIV test.... 100% accurate!

Guys Term: Cock Blocker
Girls Term: Twat Swatter

Friday, February 4, 2011

I Love Boys!

I know I rag on guys a lot... but I love them! Certain types... not all types... those clingy, needy ones need to stay away from me! No I do not want to talk to you on the phone for 6 hours a day, no I do not need to hold your hand or have my arm around you the entire time we are in public. I am not going to run to the next man that walks by and leave you in the dust.

I like guys who have their own thing going on. Have their own friends and schedule. I need a guy who is okay with the fact that I am independent and who can appreciate it! Someone who likes to travel, do things (i dont care what we do as long as they are not moping around expecting me to entertain them 24/7).

All in all, I love a guys guy!

Life... as I know it!

People are crazy. I have come to realize this over my 25 wonderful years of life.

Men are even crazier than women though. Its true. Yes women are clingy (not me) and need constant affection and support... but men need it 100 times more than we do! It is rediculous.

Yes, I an into on-line dating! Yes, I have gone out with a lot og guys (most of them I have met on-line) lol. Anyways.... I meet this one guy on-line (Rob) who seemed nice and normal, cute too... I decided to go and meet him. We met at a pub near Yonge/Bloor and let me tell you that I didnt even recognize the douche! Are you f-ing kidding me buddy?

He was at least 60lbs bigger than he was in his pictures. When I asked him how old his pictures are, he told me they were taken in 1998.... WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Anyways, I tried to hold in my non-existant facial filter..... it must have worked. We went to the bar and I immediately ordered a double! LEt me tell you... I sucked that drink back like it was the last supper!

I left the pub and got on the subway to go home. By the time I got home (takes me about 12 minutes) I had 7 missed calls from this moron as well as about 11 text messages! Can anyone say stalker?

This is not the only time this has happened to me though.... men are crazy... but whats even more crazy are the men I meet through on-line dating.....

Until next time....

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

bOyS aRe CrAzY!!!!!

Boys.... what to say! Can't live with em, can't run em over with your car! They gossip worse than women. This is a true fact ladies. I kid you not.

Today was fairly uneventful for me. Went to work, sat through a looooonnnnnngggg meeting that nearly put me to sleep and then came home. I am trying to have a relaxing night.

For the past 2 weeks I have been eating healthy and running for 25 minutes at the gym during my lunch hour. I feel fantastic. I cannot wait for the summer to arrive. I dont think I ever want to eat fast food again! Amen!

Monday, January 24, 2011

This is not good!

 can already tell that I am becoming adicted to this blogging thing... AGAIN!!! ai aii aiii what's a girl to do?

I'mmm Baaaaaacccckkkkk!

So I'm back. After all these years... well about 5 I am back to blogging. Hopefully I can keep up with it and stop procrastinating... maybe!